[RL] is anybody out there

[lovesbitch]

[New York. Not his favorite place. Even less so when he had to ride the subway. Spike did his best to keep his head down and try not to think, an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. Each shove of thronging New Yorkers made him a little number as he glanced down at the scrawled address over crumpled paper for the millionth time.

As he steps out onto the street, the Sun's almost down. Keeping his eyes on his boots, he pushes hands with chipping nail polish into his duster pockets, trying not to feel the last of its warmth on his face. He couldn't feel more out of place as he's looking up the nose of Petrelli Manor, keeping his eyes out for Peter. Steeling himself, he steps up on the lawn, half-expecting an aerial attack. Or maybe one from the side.]

Comments

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

Look, I know it's not going to get any easier. [ Fidgeting with his empty cup of coffee, Peter sighs. ] Claire keeps talking about a chance at a normal life and that's-- it's gone. It's been gone. And there's always going to be people I can't save and future's I can't change, and I can't--

[ He's not sure he has an ending to that sentence so he veers his.. rambling thoughts. ] I don't have to worry about saving myself anymore, but I don't want to think about how many people I'm going to loose. I don't want it to be everyone.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

You don't want a normal life. [He fiddles with his Morley's, tapping the pack against the table idly.] It's overrated, yeah?

[Spike puffs out an unneeded breath, wishing it wasn't so easy to empathize.] I stayed with Drusilla for a century. She was my everything, and I traded it all away. Would do it again, too. All of it. You know what's right, Pete. That's all that matters, end of the day.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

I asked to be different. [ He almost smiles for a second, a faint memory flickering into existence. ] Maybe not immortal, but I wanted to be something, something special. Something that could save the world. [ And then it's gone by the time he looks up from his cup, still looking off somewhere else. ]

And I got it. So yeah, all i'm ever going to be doing is exactly that -- what I think's right.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

You and me have that in common. We asked for this.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

Makes it even more of a responsibility.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Know that well enough. Wasting my time babysitting-- should just go on back to Hell. No one needs me here.

Not here. You know what I'm sayin'.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know.

You should go where you want, not where you're being guilted into. And Sylar's just-- he's going to do what he's always done.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

World's run by guilt, Pete. Guilt's always been a deciding factor. Well, since the soul. Why not now?

You know, I took him out one time, demon hunting? He almost threw up on my shoes. And these boots are bloody custom. Point is, what if he can't do it anymore? Then what difference does it make where I am. Not that I see how it matters anyway... [He realizes he's rambling and cuts himself off, shaking his head.]

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

[ Peter lifts his eyebrows, fairly surprised by the short story. ] Really? I don't know, maybe it had something to do with it being a demon, not a person.

Or maybe he can't. I didn't have his ability long enough to find out what it takes to stop being addicted.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

... Addicted? Right. Well, they were vampires, so somehow I think it had more to do with them being human-shaped than not.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

You don't know about the addiction part of it? [ He grimaces, ] But yeah, i'll take your word for it.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

He didn't clue me into that tasty tidbit.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

It's part of his ability, it turns it into an addiction.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

[He's leaning forward again.] And you had this addiction for a while, yeah?

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

Not for very long, a couple of days. But long enough to know.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

[Spike looks far off a second, caught in memory.] We were all innocent victims once, but it's what we did after that counts now.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

Sylar was the one that stopped me. That was when he thought we were brothers, but-- [ Peter sighs, shaking his head. ] I sure as hell wasn't the victim.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

[He gives a mirroring sigh, gaze directed out the window. A bit of relief washes over him as the sun sets. Otherworldly sun or otherwise, he doesn't want any part in it.] What now?

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

[ Looking up from fidgeting with his cup, he raises his eyebrows in question. ] What do you mean?

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Guess it's not really a question for you. I'm just not any closer to knowing what's next.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

Even if you thought you knew, doesn't mean things couldn't change.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

True enough, mate. [He's getting up suddenly, the itch from sitting still getting to be too much.] Let's clear out of here, huh?

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure. [ Following suit and standing up, Peter tosses his cup into the nearest trashcan before looking back to Spike. ]

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

I'll figure it out, right? Always do.

[askedtobe.livejournal.com]

You'll be fine. Just do what you need to.